Have you ever tried to resolve a difficulty with someone as the Lord teaches? What I find is that I usually do it in reverse order! I tell the world how I am aggrieved and then a small group of people and then finally, after a long period of complaining and self-righteousness, I get around to talking to the person him or herself. Then I find that the person was either unaware of the offense or was sincerely sorry for anything that had caused unhappiness. In the meantime I have spread poison throughout the community and even possible damaged the standing of the individual in the eyes of others. Another speciality I indulge in is to keep quiet and stew over the grievance. The anger gradually works through my system and ends us coming out in surprising and bitter ways sometimes to the person but also it can be inflicted on others who have no idea of where this petulance has come from. Dealing with conflict is not easy. It requires honesty, empathy and compassion as well as a dose of humility. I need to think of the other person as well as the rest of the community ahead of my own needs. When I try to articulate the offence I can also find that I either provoked the incident or I misunderstood it all along. Perhaps, to set aside my own outrage is an example, from last week's Gospel, of losing my life so that it might be saved.
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